i'm a cuckoo.

some songs are just transparently tattooed on to you and i really feel like that with most of belle and sebastians songs.

i almost feel bad when i haven't listened to them for a while but at the same time it alters to something so special when i actually DO put their music on.

i'm feeling more and more restless and thrown off balance lately. thinking i should do something useful about myself, i went out to a restaurant today to clear my head. i felt pathetic and i could see the waitress looking at me like she felt sorry for me for being there alone. but i keep hearing that i'm too addicted to people and i'm starting to agree. i didn't get to any good conclusions and when i realized i was flirting with the waitress i decided to leave. i called my mother and told her i love her. i haven't done that for ages.

when the bank was already closed i understood i was late with rent again so mr. ex got bitter and did what he's the best at. milked it. i felt sorry for myself and bought underwear that i told myself he'll never see.

it's been a miserable day and i got sick of that, so i mentally punched myself in the face and organized a late night picnic for me and michal which was probably exactly what i needed.

we were being clisheish and watched the stars.

michal also showed me how elephants look.